Just Beth

I actually have a resolution this year.  I keep trying NOT to, but I always end up saying some crap like ‘I vow to lose weight and be more patient with my kids and get organized and I WILL stop gossiping”… you know, stuff you’re never going to actually DO, right at the stroke of midnight.  Then I spend the next twelve months disappointing myself.  It’s not really healthy, you know?

So I decided to make one.  Just one.  I just might be able to handle ONE.  Uh, one that doesn’t involve dieting.  Tried THAT about a billion times before I figured out it was just never going to work like that.

Here it is, with much pomp and circumstance (I totally almost wrote circumcision)(not really.  I’m not quite that witty)…

I am going to STOP being LATE.

I know.  Did you fall down just now?  My family members who read this just did.  SORRY GLENDALE!  SCOTTSDALE!! SANTA BARBARA, WAIKIKI…NOT AN EARTHQUAKE, JUST MY FAMILY FAINTING IN DISBELIEF.

Unorganized, perpetually procrastinating individuals tend to be late, I’m not sure if you knew that.  They can be lots of OTHER things, too, like brilliant and beautiful and talented and very, very sorry that they’re late.  Also, in my defense, I’m not one of ‘those’ obnoxious late-ies who constantly rely on how TERRIBLE the traffic was.  I mean, at least be CREATIVE if you’re going to be late and then LIE about it.  Gah.  Losers.

As for me, I am late for very different, very real reasons every time.  Like the time I locked my keys in the house with the kids in the car and had to shimmy (SHIMMY) through a window that I used a DOLLY as a ladder to get up to.  And then launched myself onto the guest bed.

Being late…its practically not my fault.

However.  I am now technically a ‘grown-up’ and should therefore act a little more accordingly.

Ew.  That just totally kind of ruined it for me.

Fuck.

Maybe I’ll resolve to not be so goddamn self destructive instead.  I’m nearly embarassed of myself.  Sheesh.

Anyway.  Happy New Year!  Do you have any resolutions?